Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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