College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Puked in the trees at home depot, I told everyone it was fertilizeerr
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
