I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
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