sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
You should get with him and swear you have to use lambskin condoms. That'll test his veganism.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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