when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize
