Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Randomize
