just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
