its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
Randomize
