that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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