it hurts more in the daytime
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
