omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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