so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
