do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Randomize
