Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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