in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
did i walk over a car last night?
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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