youre lurking in front of me
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Panties = found
Randomize
