Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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