Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize
