Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
