strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
