Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Randomize
