when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
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