I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
My coke dealer 411'd my work number just to see how I was doing and gave me his new number. He must miss my business
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
Randomize
