i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
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