so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
where are my eyebrows?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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