what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
