Worst sexual experience IN MY LIFE. And now i know why it makes jesus cry.
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
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