"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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