She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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