Fuck appropriateness.
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
