That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
just tell him i said nine months
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
Oddly enough, the sex change dream i had made me miss you more.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Randomize
