This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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