Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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