We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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