then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
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