Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize