It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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