I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
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