Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
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