someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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