i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize