I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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