I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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