Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
im holly from the hills drunk
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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