i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
