I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
