you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
