In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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