I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
