Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
I feel so much closer to you now that I heard your poop splash into the toilet.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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