My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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