When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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