YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
...then she kept trying to make balloon animals with my flacid penis. I'm never drinking whisky with you again.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
You ate ashes out of my bong
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
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