what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You went to the wrong car, tried to open the locked door, and started crying because you thought we were playing a mean trick. Then the owner came...
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
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