She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
