What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
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he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
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You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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