Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
We were running down las vegas boulevard at 8:30 am with our beers cause we were late for our flight
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
