you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
The bartender let me pay my bar tab with my itunes giftcards.
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
If I could run through a field of Reece's and Oreos, dive off a milkfall into a bowl of cereal. My Life would complete.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
