4 words: hood of his car
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I wish there were birth control emojis
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
