would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
You know you have a good math teacher when we're talkIng about mixture problems and no one gets it until he explains it by talking about mixing alcohol
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
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