he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
